16 Sep 2022

Ode to the Installer

by John O’Brien

With apologies to Fezzik and Inigo

I’d been running short on inspiration

on what should I write about installation.

So, I’ve decided to have a short conversation

about the intriguing topic of tech integration.


Now this might be a broad generalisation

but plans do work better without alteration.


When the client makes a surprise visitation,

and in a fit of exuberant excitation,

adds extras without qualification,

keep those features out of specification

else you’ll see no profitable reparation.


Scope creep is the abnormal deviation

that comes from constant augmentation

of the system’s agreed configuration.


This can be fixed with up front negotiation

relieving the need for later (re)mediation

when goal posts move without consideration.


Instead, plan well right from formation.

Conduct a thorough evaluation

to achieve the optimal novel mutation of parameters unique to your situation


This way you avoid the odd complication

that comes when reality meets false expectation.


Aside from client disorientation,

the lure of AV gear needs no great explanation.

Particularly when the right combination

of components you’ve given amalgamation

works out better than your wild expectation.


Savour the moment of purest elation,

like a signal with absolute rectification,

when you end up installing sweet automation.


Skills gain value with constant replication –

practise makes you better with each iteration.


Year upon year of talent distillation

heightens the feeling of self-validation

that grows with your professional reputation.

It’s not quite cause for mad celebration

but talk to the boss about compensation.


Sometimes the results of careful calculation

don’t quite match those of your mind’s illustration.


Cos other times it’s only exasperation.


Mistakes can be made in any vocation.

Like wasting time on equalisation

instead of fixing poor polarisation.


When air gaps present invalid relation

of components connected to amplification

or you have uncertain cable unification,

a quick tweak or setting improvisation

won’t result in system normalisation.


When the back of the rack gives you deep consternation

and you’re covered in layers of dank perspiration

from the grief pulling cable to its end destination,

it’s tempting to quit in rage and frustration

when you can’t get comms with the bloody door station.


Take stock, walk outside, perform soul purification,

whatever it takes for calm continuation

for your ongoing work forms characterisation.

Your approach, like the gear, requires sophistication

to keep on progressing career continuation.


When installing the latest tech innovation –

remember to do your top preparation.

Read the manual for the best interpretation

of mad engineers’ thoughts made manifestation

through the rigours of commercial experimentation.


Then your programmers do their own computation,

from a dusty cardboard topped workstation

assembled from boxes found on location.

With line after line of coding equation

to give the end user a heart palpitation

when they turn on their house while away on vacation.


It matters not where you do mechanisation:

K-12 to tertiary – it’s all education,

it could be boardrooms of a big corporation,

or recording the words where they do litigation.

Enhancing the sound of liturgical oration

or connecting emergency evacuation –


It’s all the grand theory of unified communication.


Working so long at the edge of innovation

can tax your brain muscles beyond stimulation

until each new release is less a sensation.


As you build your business over a generation

then get caught in a wave of corporate predation,

do accept payout for your amortisation.

Retire with a quaint rationalisation

for golf and boredom in synchronisation.


If all of this sounds like pontification,

on AV I have some justification

of knowledge beyond just book education.


From the hellfire of black box relocation

that once formed a fulltime occupation,

I took a long path of distinct transformation

into the world of AV consultation.

This has endowed a deep appreciation

Of how to proceed with tech implementation.


From characters deep in Reiner’s imagination,

I offer this finest of fine creation:


Anybody want a peanut?


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